LOVE IS GIVING! Unconditional is: not expecting to be payed!


In CELSIUS 0 is the moment were MINUS ICES! Minor 0 is always no life.


A seed requires CONDITIONS to being able to perform! Once you trample destructively, the LIFE IS DEAD!

Same to LOVE:

When you do not act according to LIFE, you are below!

Below:HELL down DEAD! No karma, is: there is no redemption! 2012 Karma was extinguished.




JEWISH Calendar

also named HEBREW Calendar, preceded any other calendar, specifically the much later invented GREGORIAN-Western- calendar. In Gregorian we are said to be in 2021, yet it was 2521 ago.. the BIRTH of JESUS. In original Hebrew calendar, we are in 5781!




Vs: AC/After Christ

IF BIBLE ..then how missing

Hebrew – GREGORIAN 1452= 5040 ! YEARS

THE COMMON EDUCATION/ language in words doesn’t make a lot of sense. JESUS …



Monsieur Lazhar

Bichir = brings good news

Lazhar = luck

Mr. Bichir Lazhar is an Algerian perfectly French speaking adult, who is in request of a job: he lends his EXPERTISE to a school class in requirement of a school teacher. Mr. Lazhar is educated! He is considered.. he never ARGUES! He allows others to be! He has two main …

He is A PSYCHOLOGIST + he OBEYS THE SYSTEM. Other decisions making characters-as the head master- only has the dysfunctional – system. To be a psychologist Mr. Lazhar deeply cares for the children. He offers solutions to pressing matters, no one else has!

He also speaks many languages: FRENCH / ALGERIAN .. also more, yet, what this is:


He has options! In regard to all! Not so the burocratically declining head master who follows a SCRIPT reducing all to PHYSICAL OBJECTS! She misses to acknowledge the human !

Mr. Lazhar.. is very kind, friendly, proper in his exhibition. He names himself like the wolf who lets himself tame, yet remains wild. This is: although he doesn’t agree.. he never gets in the way of others.. he speaks “ok!”, yet he doesn’t give in! He is integrate!

That is what happens here:



YOU HOLDING PRICES SILKE HOSTAGE: you cheat, lie, don’t wish to acknowledge her, BUT YOU WISH TO GO WHERE SHE IS COMMANDING HER AT YOUR WILL! Even the ones who “feed” .. are HOLDING HER! No one is reliable.

All will be in hell!

In the movie, as in life: the MAIN CHARACTER is not alone held hostage for remuneration! ALSO : SERIOUSLY MISTREATED! So do you by will: mistreat to death!






ONCE YOU WISH TO SEE YOU MIGHT! It is about looking:

Once you start EXPECTING something, you might be able to…

No one thought about main actors are just ONE! Nor, this VOICE.. same like..

You hear music in rock pop hip hop.. and you see now how often you hear JACK BLACK doing the singing!

Most often it is JOHN CUSACK.. she cannot see a style of his’ ! She hears JACKY’S style!

In preparation for a NEW EARTH..

SHE- PRINCESS SILKE– has been looking while EXPECTING always the best! It changed Earth over time!

Had you ever felt your car is moving, while another reference point was the moving ? The movies are made by perspective SHIFT in the visual. When you go to iMovie to make a movie only with pictures, they are the ones being held to you as if a camera is taking in the vision. In deed, it is always the same picture. In movies the perspective is crucial! The reference from one object/actor to the other. A photo might be the background of a house where the actors are placed green screen in no space. The picture seems to have them in the house, or in the street.. THIS NEVER HAPPENED!

Size of things might be in a teeny in proportion of others!

AVATAR: all believed it was the method advertised, therefore the most EXPENSIVE movie. Not real! FEDERICO FELLINI moved a few objects to perform the vision how a movie is filmed. Not true! His movies were the cheapest on the planet while he said it. Before, PRINCESS SILKE/C! Then, DUSTIN HOFFMAN.. thereafter 1978 onward JOHN CUSACK’S!

It’s Complicated?


Never…. luck falls… make it happen: FORTUNE!

MOM – , DAD -,

Why didn’t they made it? THE FIRST TIME.


All the other is ARSEHOLE:

The negative architect WHO NEVER COMMITTED either, focusing on all bad!

The spoiled three children who think they might have a judgmental opinion about their PARENTS LIFE!

The IDIOT UN-sexy lover.. who is overtly evil to her very husband + MODELING to her son to become a complete ARSEHOLE!

The husband who stays by the evil bitch ! Who lets domination happen over his life! Who then declares, it wouldn’t have happen– the affair- if it wouldn’t had been forbidden! WHAT AN IDIOT!

Scent of a Women


The young university/college student is being held hostage by the head master:

He bribes! He puts the young students life at stake.. for the sake of PRINCIPLES!

First and foremost, the student didn’t do anything! It was the rich kids, who would never be held responsible.. because of money!

Now, if the young innocent wishes to have a life, he had to snitch– provided? No! It was made CERTAIN, the headmaster wished not a NO for an answer. That is, even if the young student didn’t saw who was the wrongdoer, HE MUST COME UP TO A OR SEVERAL NAMES: regardless, if ANY of those actually did wrong! WHAT DOES THAT SAY: EVIL SYSTEM!


The old military retired seemed to be many things.. yet by observing we see:

He appreciates!

He sees how things didn’t work.

He knows about marriage.

His SIN: he talks it out!

He truly sees the ONLY RELEVANT on Earth is a true LOVE RELATIONSHIP!

There, he sees how nobody understands their own non-relationship to others, to life, knowledge + THEMSELVES !


He is a gentle MAN: he pays the tango-girls bill; not her fiancé who is a sissy!

He sees, how women need sexual satisfaction!

He sees, how he himself must groom to get to a women: outside/inside. He likes all the process!

Georgia Rules


CONTRAST rural old fashion VS city crazy superficial



The step-father who raped his girl since age 12. Yet, did he raped her: yes. She, though never really saw:

She is a child. She needs attention. She needs physical contact / caressing. So, her step father caresses her, claims I love you.. yet by naming it he confuses the girl. She now sees, evil. She knows. She also sees, love = evil, also: manipulation, sex. What is wrong: IT IS WRONG TO HAVE SEX TO YOUR CHILD. Yet, more so: it is doing her bad; no true relationship is established! The action is not what she needs, wishes nor does it any good to her. Thus, it is a selfish act by the step father. It is rape.

How did the girl learned to get the love she needs: via sex! Offering her PHYSICAL parts/ taking on the males PHYSICAL parts. No relationship. She never knew how to relate.

Yet, she never GETS THE LOVE SHE NEEDS! So, the selfish manipulative act is unsatisfactory, so it must be repeated.. some where else! INTERCHANGE to many sex partners! No care. FRUIT to sex, no GOD.. brings all to want to be away: alcohol/drugs. NUTS ..

All selling themselves for the favor.. Tending a lecture that establishes: coke is great! Sex partners to be determined by their PHYSICAL appearance/ the influence they have to get ME SOMEWHERE! No relationship. Evil! How do you relate to PRINCESS SILKE:

You f* her off! You evil. You in deed think it’s all right. You lost your sense of good/evil, of right/wrong, of GOD! You are the devil.


See what the MESSED UP girl did to the old fashioned rural boy: she completely interferes to his life! She destroyed the TRUST his fiancée/all girls had! Just a BJ? No. She uncounters the natural balance of the entire world.. while she EVIL never looks what he requires, doesn’t listen to him either, gets in the way manipulative to get him to do what she, she alone wants! RAPE !

He can never have a happy marriage after the BJ act!

Of course, there is more:


What is MARRIAGE: the wishing someone!

In the picture, he never wishes his fiancée. He gave in. Otherwise, he’d never left her: no other women could make him go to the PHYSICAL! No parting in the EMOTION

Regarding the story, he then wants to marry the STUPID MESSED UP GIRL: it was his first girl who offered sex. He innocent, IDIOT! She would drop him! He is nice….she brings evil abusive sex into his mind! How can he.. be happy: HE MAY NEVER! She made clear, it’s her advantage, not his’. She never cares for another.

Nor do you!

So, the girl raped him by BJ; he never saw.. her ..liked her step fathers embrace, he definitely liked the act to be BJ’ed. His vision is confused/blinded, yet he never sees! HE’LL NEVER GET THE LOVE HE NEEDS!


The grandmother imposes: as a parent it is safe to her child to make clear what is good! But, are GEORGIA RULES good? The imposing never allowed to ask is bad! She raised a daughter while ended up MESSED.. as her child! Not to look.. not to see! It is hidden… does it make her a bad mother not to take her daughters dishes as presents: never! She doesn’t pretend! This makes her honest.. So, where to look: into the EMOTIONS. MAINLY, THE GRANDMOTHER HINDERED ANY COMMUNICATION by sorting out the life of others no questions asked! THAT IS THE HINDRANCE.

You see the girl from L.A. when she arrives at the local town, how mean evil denigrating misjudging out loud she is! She NUTS thinks it’s all right… a societal form

In the movie she reconsiders.. later. In real life: do you?

Hidden the wrong:

Is it wrong the grandmother has her very strict rules when to eat? This is never the point:

She doesn’t allows a reasonable QUESTION/ANSWER response:


This would bring an understanding as of why she has such strict rules. Yet, she doesn’t: she says eat a fruit. Wait until next morning for food. GRUESOME!

She too, handles her lack of love in a psychological disturbed way: she sees order in a specific time.. that’s why! So, for her daughter.. the solution was to get away: alcoholic. And the girl, she saw order in being selfish getting power over MEN handling them in manipulative ways. All disturbed!

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO LET YOUR CHILD HUNGRY? The grandmother has no emotion! She can’t tell her daughter to identify her own emotion. She never looks.. following her received education.. so she never sees her abusive husband ! The girl, was never allowed to look, feel nor communicate!




Never allows to ask, to question, to search, to communicate nor to feel:

The POPE said God loves you..although you MUST REPORT TO US PRIESTS to be FORGIVEN..while you ALL ARE SINNERS.. and the only way to redeem is PAY OFF here, to be never rewarded in this, but in the AFTERLIFE!

WHY BOTHER.. you might have thought.



In France, precisely Toulouse, I subscribed to a fitness center. I wanted to…

get a shower! My tiny apartment – a room by an entrance within a set of three -, was by no bathroom! It was cheap, so I added the cost of the gym + the rent. I went every day, almost. When I didn’t went, I washed at the adjacent kitchen of my room. Once, I took a shower at the University dorms. I mainly walked. My bicycle was stolen at another dorm while I visited an acquaintance for about an hour at the arrival, at plain daylight, right in front of the main entrance, by lock and all. Someone offered me another bike, yet it took almost the entire school year.

I wasn’t aware, what those Arabs were up to. They stole pieces, eventuality they fit all together + painted it green. I had been talking to them for a week, while I awaited my apartment, right at the arrival to Toulouse. In France, nobody talks to each other- the loneliest place on Earth. Those were Arabs. They had Latin allures. Conquest, promises to attain favors.. by a women.. empty! I wasn’t to see. It went well. They complied! A friend. Nothing else.

As I waited, I walked: 30 min. to University, 30 min. to the fitness center afterwards, were I took 1-2 lessons, sometimes I swam, thereafter another 30 min. to my apartment-every day! On Tuesday/Thursday evenings, I was studying EUROPEAN COMMUNITY in the late evenings, those days I walked: 30 min. to University, 30 min. to fitness center, back 30 min. to University, thereafter 30 min. to my apartment. After lessons, my only friend Nico accompanied me most of the way: he on his bike, I walked. We took the seminar together.

On Sunday’s I jogged.

After months – I had gained weight – I ate at University, salad for dinner, yet 1 bar of Kinderschokolade a day..I was Sad! 100gr!

Yet, my buttocks went up! Firm! Amazing. I attributed it to my fast daily walks, never to the lessons.

At the fitness center, I had two instructors. One women – the step-class instructor- had a funny face, a weird body, tall, slim, she was giving the required enthusiasm of a fitness leader. She pulled a clown act.. as in the muppets show- this is what it seemed.

The other was a very pretty in her late 20’s women – the body-sculpture instructor. She was tiny, a bit round. She was no bitch, otherwise I would not have wished to look at her beauty. It was this fascinating form of female..pretty, tender, also blonde.. yet this one had longer wavy hair.. those physical people so pretty, you feel you have to look away! She was venered by a male instructor like her: he was also small, punched and may be handsome, in his 30’s. I saw her liking, yet not wanting his attention. She treated him in professional respect! Who was she with? See, why would a women such pretty / sweet end up by a gym instructor? Who was her guy: a slim, tall accountant by a mainly higher salary.. no fitness! I never looked, then. Yet, thinking about it: the two instructors were alike: emotionally, intellectually, even physically! They both loved their jobs! It was the ECONOMY / social appearances that kept them apart. NO MORE! They could have had a perfect life in the same vibration by all understanding in mutual care!


H= home U=University S=fitness center/Sport

See, my way to the University was alongside the river La Garonne. I walked mostly at a small alley pasted by little French candle lid restaurants. I felt jealous..I was by no money, unable to afford even those simple bistros. Yet, the pebble stone rue and the spruce overall Disney look of the entire environment made up for it. Daylight up, nighttime back home. At the main central church St. Sernin the idyllic middle age city ended.

St Sernin Basilica, Toulouse France

Modern, apart. Only, on my way back from the S, I walked along old buildings surrounded by open patios, were at day time, stands sold used books + some antiques all over the town. Toulouse old city was beautiful.

My landlord was originally from the city. He spoke- what sounds to elegant French language speakers, like broken. He rolled the “r”s like a Spanish immigrant. It’s named patois– he said. We all speak like this in the-SOUTHERN – area. There was not much of a distinction among Southern France, from Bordeaux to Cote-d’Azur.. even Northern Spain, were people spoke a French-Spanish mix named Catalan. Basqueland is both: France South + Spain North. Yet Spanish alone spoke basque in the misty green fertile land at the Atlantic coast.

Not even the long, tall mountain of the Pyrenees was hindrance of the culture.

His French was like Turkish talking German language for Hamburg natives. He in deed talked.. to me! All the time. I am the greatest listener.. so he opened up his heart, welcoming me into his atmosphere. A very old man, sweet, caring.. missing his deceased wife! He hang on my door fresh sweet bread some days which I found at my arrival back home. At spring he cut simple roses off his enclosed wilde rose garden, hanging them at my door. He loved! He regretted having taken on a beast: a women which he had picked up at St. Serninoff the street, so he said, where he had his antique selling post. An opportunist: She was ugly. Outside- inside.. yet she complied when he invited me Sundays for brunch. They were lonely together. I was very very lonely. He was like a grand father, pouring me apperitive – a light sherry – which he wasn’t allowed to by his doctor. He delighted himself seeing me have two of those tiny glasses at his table. Yet, he often spoke to me on the patio of his property. She never left. In robe every day at all times. He liked me a lot, so he gave me a key to their home for me to use the WC at night… not stipulated in the rent. He felt sorry I had to walk all the way down the outdoor path to pass his other renting old fart, who never washed, stank and with whom I had to share a French toilet: a hole in the ground indicated by two wooden platforms to hold the feet! Disgusting! Cheap.

Going to my landlords toilet with key in my hand I still had to go outdoors, yet it was right across my tiny place.

I always looked like I was rich to all, yet I never was, nor did I ever lived in a rich, nor comfortable place: not in Hamburg, Germany, not in France, not in Mexico.

In Toulouse, in the poverty I saw enchantment. I felt..reinforced on my birthday in April which I spend alone sitting outdoors at the old iron table in the home patio. April 21, 1994.



I hadn’t planned to live in Toulouse, originally. In my Mexico University interchange I was offered only Lille, France, a modern city up north near the Belgium border which could have easily be modern German. It was the fraud from the UIA exchange to France – UIA: the most recognized private Mexico University- that brought me to southern France. I was getting prepared, just in case, from Mexico to have a second option. Regardless of the threats I was given by the director of the INTERNATIONAL EXCHANGE PROGRAM UIA MEXICO CITY. I applied to three national universities in France: Bordeaux, Toulouse.. and PARIS I never wished; I considered the big city too international and I might not be speaking French there.. which was my main purpose to go to France. Change of location, got me to Toulouse: they accepted me..required to pass a French language exam prior. I passed. I went to the office, they gave me a book: what do you wish to study?

I exited that non-directive buro and found myself in front of a dark skinned smiling young male who said What are you doing here?– He briefly looked and responded: here is what you need! There, he walked me to the IEP – Institut d’études politiques de Toulouse-, were he introduced me to the director: a fatty smiling gentle mother-type women who received me by open arms! SAFE! I made my studies at both: Institut d’études politiques de Toulouse + Université des Sciences Politiques Toulouse.

This male was from Egypt. He was former student, he knew his way around. He also said to me to inscribe to the fitness center: the best in Toulouse– he said. He went there all the time to get his muscles well toned at the gym. I never liked gyms. He brought me to the fitness center, yet I never went to see him again. He was of greatest help! Yet, he wasn’t selfless. He was smeary. I figured.


When I came back…

See, I was relocated to Toulouse all in a sudden in October. I had been living for 5 weeks in Lille, desperate to make things happen. There, a former language German student came to my rescue: Although he came completely unexpected uninvited to see me in Lille, he helped me to the passage to being able to even be in Toulouse. He begged me – after a Friday lunch- to accompany him to Paris over the weekend. He was old, ugly by a soft heart.. I knew him for a year. He was dreaming to go to places like a modern bordell named the moulin rouge dance club- 💃 can can girls- and to have dinner at a Gypsy Russian restaurant because of the accordion music. I don’t like accordion – I played it for two years. I hate the bar dance club: poor ugly smelly girls hefting their skinny legs in broken stockings. I was poor. He was needy. I said, – thinking real fast at the dinner table-, I was considering doing him the favor…- yet one cannot say “favor”- thinking of taking all my belongings that evening to be going to study at the Toulouse university, which I was going to be going to, if he’d helped me and payed for the passage: by TRAIN! Paris-Toulouse. He was a very rich old man after all. He smiling agreed.

He was happy. Not alone in Paris…a beautiful young German lady. I said nothing. I went wherever he wished to go, I ate whatever he offered. There, all in a sudden he asked me the most obnoxious question the moment we walked into the wide lobby of the 4* – not 5!- hotel: One room or two? a world fell down on me. A WHORE? That’s what he wished me to denigrate myself to! He was a married by family man, so he’d said back in Mexico. Two. I said, quietly.

I don’t remember at what time he considered the deal was off.. yet by night on the Sunday prior to the train departure he hadn’t given me my fare. I had to ask. I felt denigrated. He dropped his bag. He starred at me as if I was doing totally wrong.. then he handed me the bill: 75$.

I was humiliated!


So, the travel. Arrival 7am TOULOUSE. Report to UNIVERSITY 9am. Wherever in the world I can make it to get in two hours from the train station to the university– I told myself soothing a silent anxiety.


After I made the study obligatory arrangements at the Madame office like I described earlier I saw:

2 weeks till study begins. I had spend the previous weekend to my old student Paris offering, by a lover Danièle, the Italian I fell for during the summer.. (Link)

who wished and saw me in Paris romantique! Right before.. that horrifying humiliating service I had not wished for nor had I been recognized for it: a 74 old married hunchback PLUS the 29 year single Goldilocks elegant Princess.



I called Danièle from the hostel who had offered me to visit him. It’s now or never– I saw, since after studies begin I had no way to leave. He agreed. I made arrangements by a fellow German girl, also a student, to take her spare room a single night at my return… to get my self my own place for the year.

So, at my return.. from Italy a week later.. she yes let me in. I hang my clothing to dry over night. She freaked: she yelled I had to leave right away 11:30 pm!


Who was I to call? Alone..hostel nearby shut. The Egyptian! He was a true hand out. He was taking care of a complete empty large apartment of a women friend, were he smashed a mattress on the floor for me to sleep on.. three nights. My launching pad or stepping stone to my tiny room I rented.

There.. after much – like to be expected? Never by me! – INSISTENCE, I reclined to his shoulder, a small offering on my side, or shall I say a give in to the lonely young muscled Arab who wanted his recompense for the favor, I leaned to see the HARD WOOD his body mind HEART had become. I DON’T LIKE TOO MUCH MUSCLE.. way too uncomfortable. I scared away. He had rights? Was he truly thinking that, any longer? He left me alone. After this! Smeary wasn’t working anymore!


Where am I



A man falls.. another falls…


..yet HUMANS?

You were offered a fake model of home!

You sincerely wish someone else-not you-will safe you. You also want others to take responsibility for your misacting!

People die:


AFTER A YEAR OF SUFFERING IN FRANCE… PRINCESS SILKE left her green bicycle.. at the apartment:

She RETURNED April 21, 1994! LOVE.

What do you see?